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The Infamous MJ – Matt Jordan

Review: Fireside Tales

“Fireside Tales” from CatchMeKillMe Productions is a good anthology of short horror tales, as told by friends around the campfire. During the film, there are four tales, each about 10-15 minutes long, with great action. As to not give anything away, I can tell you that the first story centers around a man they call “Undertow.” I thought it had great potential to go on by itself for a while. “Undertow” has a great Jason vibe to it, and I’d love to see it made in to a full film. The second story involved a man who cuts off a girl’s face, only to face justice by the one person who should. This one had a great Leatherface vibe to it. Story number three, was a small dud, but it goes well with the movie. The bad story actually made the main plot move along, and made it more realistic. The final story is another one that I would love to see made in to a full story.

There are more twists and turns at the end of the movie, and I was thoroughly entertained. Great job by the crew at CatchMeKillMe Productions, and the director Ian Messenger. The cast was wonderful, and this is how you do a short horror anthology. I can’t wait for the wide release on this film.

Run time: Approx. 109 minutes.

Tips for the Cord Cutting Horror Fan

I am both a horror fan (duh! that’s why I helped start EMZT) and a cord cutter. I hate my cable company, Spectrum, and if there was another option in the town I live in, I would gladly use that internet. As someone who has done the cord cutting for a couple of years now, here’s what I’ve done to keep enjoyment as a cord cutting horror fan.

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EMZT Radio: YODO The Series


This is one of the funnest episodes that we produced. Bane is in the middle of a construction zone, which explains the outtake (organic comedy, right?) Those that joined us were a riot, and did a great job of not spoiling what’s coming up. Check out YODO the series, when it becomes available.

Weekly Rant: Ghostbusters, Sexism, and General WTFness



Full disclosure: I’m not a fan of Ghostbusters. Sure, if I need a laugh, and it’s on, I’ll watch it for a few minutes. It really just never got to me, unlike most kids that grew up in the 1980s. Don’t get me wrong, I like Harold Ramis’ writing, and Bill Murray is pure comedy gold.

Full disclosure 2: I HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE reboots. To me, when you reboot something, or remake something, you’re just lazy. Again, that’s my opinion on ALL reboots/remakes. My god, how many times do we have to reboot “Spiderman,” before we just finally say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH?!

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Did “The Moment” Finally Happen?

Ennie. Meenie. Mighty. Mo. I wondered when Negan would show. Although, according to the ratings, not many others did.  So, it’s finally happened, Negan has arrived, and it wasn’t that great. You knew they were going to drag it out to the last few minutes of an otherwise forgettable season finale.

Yes, I got that short of a few “F-Bombs,” Negan came straight from the comics. However, did anyone else feel the whole setup really killed a lot of the tension? This has to be the most painfully slow season of The Walking Dead. I get it, we’re preparing to say goodbye to one of the major characters (if you believe the comics, it’s Glenn).

The one thing I will not damn Kirkman and company on is the cliffhanger ending. I thought that was a brilliant idea. Until October, fans have something to gather around the water cooler and talk about. If you show who it is at the end, then you have fans of that character tuning out for good. You would give people like me, who isn’t exactly making it appointment viewing anymore, tuning out. Instead, you have guaranteed ratings, when they finally show the killing.

However, back to the season for a minute. As I said, I got it, we’re saying goodbye to someone that’s been in our lives for at least three years now. It’s not going to be easy, and the gang has been going through some major changes. However, it seems like Kirkman and company spent more time this half-season setting up trying to top season 5, which was a great season. Hell, the first half of this season was pretty good. I just have this feeling, they’re setting up things they’re not going to be able to deliver.

“Jumping the Shark” has been in the lexicon since The Fonz jumped a shark on Happy Days. I have this bad feeling “jump the shark” is about to be replaced with”swinging the Lucille.”  It can only go downhill from the season 7 opener.

The Walking Dead will get at least two more seasons, but Lucille is coming. It won’t take more than one swing to axe the show.

No, YOU Grow Up

Superhero films are all the rage these days, aren’t they? Ben Afleck is now Batman, Ryan Reynolds is now Deadpool, and the movies staring these two gentlemen? Batman vs. Superman took home $181 million opening weekend, Deadpool took home $300 million worldwide.

Hollywood is in the middle of a superhero craze, it’s been this way since 2002. Every good Marvel and DC fan knows when their movies are due out in theaters all the way to 2020. For three hours, we can escape the world, and let our friends dole their brand of justice. We seem to enjoy the justice they bring, and just like the westerns of the 50’s and 60’s, we’re at least comforted to know the fictional town was saved from some apocalyptic warrior.

This is why these kinds of movies became popular after 9/11. Sure, superhero movies have been around forever. Hell, I was raised on Micheal Keaton as Batman, and Christopher Reeves as Superman. Yet, if you live in the “west,” your world changed on that warm, clear September day in 2001.

Our sense of justice changed. We were a nation at war, and the country had to rally again. We had been attacked, we needed Superman, Batman, Spiderman, Wonder Woman, hell, the entire Justice League.

I remember working in a movie theater at the time of September 11th. Even in the small town I’m from, you still had jitters about being in public, for about the next few weeks. I remember it well, because Spiderman was about to be rebooted, with Toby McGwire. We had just got the movie poster, not two weeks before. It was Spiderman hanging between the Twin Towers, with that look of “go to sleep, New York. You are safe.” Of course, after 9/11, the movie studio demanded we take it down and return it. If you can find it on eBay, they are worth a lot of money.

It also has much to do with the fact that we are now the third, and some of us, fourth generation of comic book readers. It’s not uncommon to walk through grandpa’s attic, and see his Amazing Spiderman Collection, or through dad’s room, and see his Superman collection. We grew up on this, now, we’re the adults. Today, we celebrate everything that is comic books, with ComicCon’s all over the world. Cosplayers can make good money, just by dressing up and going to conventions.

Yet, every party needs a pooper. The Telegraph provides us one, with Rhymer Rigby. In his column, he points out that comic book movies are too dark for children, but too “dumb” for adults. This is where I point out, that I was reading about how European Labor Laws create terrorism, and how Millennials abandon “big government,” as they get older.  However, I digress.

Mr. Rigby asks, “Can we all please grow up? Can we acknowledge that Marvel and DC have scraped right though the bottom of the barrel? Can we call time on superhero films? Films which are too dark for kids the comics were originally written for, yet too dumb for any thinking adult.”

He is partly correct. The original comics were for kids, but I think the only comics this guy ever read was the “Archie” comics. Don’t worry, the adventures of Archie and Jughead are not coming to a silver screen near you, any time soon.

Mr. Rigby goes on: “I know that the stock response to this is that there’s no reason you can’t use superheroes to examine dark, adult themes. No there is isn’t, but just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” To this, I argue, why shouldn’t we?

After all, was Captain America not basic war propaganda? Wasn’t his SOLE job to rally the kids behind the troops in World War Two?  The very first issue of Captain America featured a front cover of our patriot punching Hitler.

When you read Captain America, you really wanted to cream those Nazi (and later Commie) bastards. Hell, even Superman went to fight the Nazis. Hell, Marvel began business as a propaganda arm during World War Two, known as “Timely Comics.” What is darker than war, Mr. Rigby?

Comics have always been used for social commentary, Mr. Rigby. Batman fought Ayatollah Khomeini, when The Joker was given an ambassadorship to the United Nations. What about “Ex Machina,” an alternate universe where a superhero prevents the second World Trade Center building from falling, or when Lex Luther became President of the United States?

Hell, Superman even tackled drug use, when he had to get one of his best friends sober. The Green Arrow ‘s sidekick used heroin for the longest time. Not to mention, how Batman comics always showed the gritter side of Gotham, to talk about poverty.

Mr. Rigby, I am a grown adult. I love my comic books. I love my superhero movies. I love my video games. Hell, on a Friday night, I will spend five to six hours becoming lost in the world of Fallout 4, or Borderlands 2. I know you don’t think that’s grown up, but look at what I’m NOT doing.

I’m not at a bar, being borderline rapey to a woman. I’m not getting blitzed out of my mind, oh which reminds me, you wrote an article on “How to Deal With a Killer Hangover at Work.” Yet, you didn’t ONCE tell those people, who are doing harm to themselves and others, to “grow up.” I suffer from depression, yet I’m not on every pill from A-Z, to deal with it. I’m not drinking and driving. I’m at home. Not harming a soul.

It’s great Mr. Rigby that you read books “that put pictures in your head,” and not on the page. I applaud you. I do the same thing. As a matter of fact, I just finished Elon Musk’s second biography by Ashlee Vance, and HIGHLY recommend it. However, I think it’s high time that people like you should re-examine that high horse you’re on. Maybe, it’s time to leave people alone, and let them spend their time enjoying what they want to do, instead of trying to decide for us.

In the Grindhouse with MJ

Welcome to the first post for my little slice of EMZT Radio, In the Grindouse. Every Tuesday, I hope you join me as a wax poetical about my favorite B-Movies, Grindhouse Movies, and classic horror.

This week: Countess Dracula (1971)


I found this movie funny. The premise was great, an aging countess needs virgin blood to maintain her beauty. So, of course she uses her older lover to get the virgins for her. You know, got to look young for your younger lover, right? There’s enough in this movie to keep you going for a while. Of course, watching it now, unlike the 1970’s and Dobi jokes galore. It’s a classic horror movie, to say the least.