Bane’s Best & Worst Xmas Horror List

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the WORST movie, in my opinion, is JACK FROST(1997) and not the Michael Keaton one..

The ’97 movie was absolute beyond crap low budget film and beyond ridiculous story..

a convicted murderer being driven to his execution thru Colorado, in a really bad snow storm, the van collides with a toxic waste tanker which transforms the psycho’s DNA to bond with the snow and becomes a Killer Snowman, and his name is Jack Frost..

which means his powers of changing to get into houses are unlimited as long as it’s snowing and cold, he can get under front door and in thru the very big opening of door locks..  and even if you melt him, he will reform as a snowman..  he has the worst one liners ever, oh..  and he does rape and murder a woman in the shower with his snowman carrot nose..  ewww…  and brutal..

 

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a Netherlands film about Saint Nick, who is much like Krampus,  not the holly jolly Santa Claus, but a murderous fallen bishop, who was turned into a creature for revenge on the town that sank & burned the boat he was on because he was a savage bully, many many decades ago..  he is accompanied by his Black Petes, minions dressed in black, that do his bidding to spread more mayhem and fear..

Saint Nick also rides a magical dead horse that carries him to all sorts of places, like rooftops and such..

i personally hate english subtitles because it takes my eyes away from the people on the screen to read what is being said, so be sure to find the english dubbed version..

it’s also a bit of cheese but not too bad..

 

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this one i really enjoyed!  A hilarious UK horror comedy!

it’s brilliant, a office janitor is stuck in a women’s bathroom stall and using all sorts of ways to keep the zombies from getting to him..

it’s an office building’s christmas party and someone was infected with the zombie virus that practically took over the whole building, and WC is one of the few survivors stuck and trying to get out without being bitten! and practically the whole movie is all in this bathroom!

i would recommend this one to everybody!

 

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this one is more dramatic but just a bit WTF??   3 people are trapped in an ATM little building, by a psycho slasher..

it’s mostly a waiting game and the 3 hotshots try to use the ATM machine to get the police to show up because the killer is literally staring them down just outside near their car, which is half a parking lot away, right outside the little building..  and no one has a working cellphone??

the killer waits so long, that he actually pulls out a fold out chair to sit and watch them..

this is more a WTF film..  i didn’t understand why someone would attack people at an ATM, he obviously didn’t want their money..  that was clear enough..  but ..  ok.. i guess..  huh?

 

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a woman trying to leave her office building to go home and visit her family for christmas, is trapped in the underground parking garage by an obsessed deranged lovesick psycho security guard(wes bentley)..

he has the place locked down, she’s unable to get cell reception to call for help and he chases her all over the parking areas, so that she can spend the holiday with him..

i guess some guys just don’t like to hear the word No..

this one is a major thriller and worth watching and also teaches a lesson about young women not going to their cars by themselves, even if it’s in an underground security parking area..

 

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Bill Goldberg as a psycho Santa on a killing spree..

nothing more needs to be said..

i’d say watch this for the pure bloody mess that ensues as Santa, the offspring of Satan knocking up a virgin, and forced to deliver presents for 1000 years..  i guess he really hated his job and just couldn’t take it anymore..

but it’s Goldberg just going completely batshit psycho crazy!  it’s a fun watch!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




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